was a title I planned for a blog about simplifying my life. One of many blog ideas I have had through out the years. I am indeed a very thorough planner with an immense well of ideas. Too many most of the time. And they do take up too much space on many levels. But then again, not all ideas are meant to be executed. And sometimes they take another form. My head is filled up with grandiose scenario’s so many that a whole life time would not be enough to fulfill and live them all. It´s frustrating and yet exactly how it should be I guess. To surrender and accept isn´t a concept I am the only one struggling with. And yet I know that when I do surrender and accept, things will unfold much easily than if I am fighting and demanding to be right.
During a chat online with my new friend Dawne she suggested I would either journal or use my blog to sort out my feelings and thoughts on this time of transition that stepping into a new decade really is about. To put words on very private and personal feelings and to do it publicly means stepping into a level of vulnerability that I´m not sure I´m ready for yet. Consider this blog post my first tiny step, or maybe even the second step…
I still like the idea of dedicating a whole blog to the adventure of simplifying my life but for the time being I will stick to my Magic Monday. It will be good for me to focus on one thing instead of jumping around like a mad rabbit chasing yet another yummy carrot.
Speaking of Feng Shui and simplifying and decluttering, we have actually been quite active lately in this area with my husband. Selling and throwing away stuff that are no longer needed. Quite a difficult task for two hoarders like us. But we are getting there and the apartment feels a bit more spacious already! For many years I have been aware of the fact that I need to declutter heavily but the urgency for space in many senses has been more prominent lately so this is the first time I feel we are doing progress in this area.
So what on earth is going on here? Escape or romantic encounter? These two were found during one of our decluttering sessions…they refused to leave the house and demanded to stay.
…and I am a bit hesitant to reveal it. Especially since I had such a lovely day today and the weather was just simply perfect. To be really honest I´m not necessarily that fond of Spring. May with it´s budding flowers and green leaves is wonderful I admit. But during this time of the year when the sun is staring you right in the face and the light is almost too sharp I am actually feeling a bit ambiguous and even slightly depressed. No not depressed but blue perhaps. Part of me loves the warmth and the light while the other part is not completely convinced. The funny thing is that I am reading Susannah Conways newest love letter (her newsletter that is) and in it she is writing about how happy she is that we are finally getting a little warmth and a little light. And how she normally is more of a pessimistic the glass is half-empty kind of person but how this is the time of the year when she feels a bit more optimistic. So why is it that I, who is a complete over the top the glass is always half-full person, actually love the darkness of Winter and feel slightly more down than up now that Spring is on her way? I really don´t know. But I do know that this is the time of the year when there are more suicides than during the Winter. Something about the sharp light showing all the creaks and past failures and an uncertain future? Maybe a sense of hopelessness in the midst of all the hope?
No I am not going to throw myself into the river and I actually more than enjoyed my walk in the sunshine today and felt very content. But on the whole I feel a bit sad during this time when Winter emerges into Spring.
Which is why it is so important to have friends! These beautiful Hortensias and a whole box full of heavenly smelling herbs (that were too shy to be photographed) were given to me as a birthday gift on Saturday when we were out celebrating a slightly late Valentines Day with friends.
Just when I thought that being fifty was beginning to be a series of missed fillings and aching joints I was proved wrong once again! Fifty is indeed frustration but also friendship, flowers and fun 🙂
And finally I went here! And yes the cake was divine 🙂
And I mean real solid mail delivered to you personally by the postman in the form of a small package! This day that has been full of sunshine and surprises was also very stressful so I am trying to keep the peaks close to my heart. About a month ago I participated in Sue Ann Gleasons Tea & Chocolate Soul Collage session over the phone with participants from different parts of the globe. Along with a couple of other lucky women I won – guess what! Well chocolate of course 🙂 And as you can see, the absolutely exquisite Lavender Wei of Chocolate did not only please me. Sue Ann you are a true gem!
Look at the last picture and you see not only one happy couple but two…well we were actually three happy couples after I opened up the package and told my husband the story behind it 🙂
And one that I have yet a long way to go to master. Of course I had some ideas of what I wanted to do this Magic Monday but I buried them all when I woke up and heard the rain tapping on the window. I am still thinking and planning too much but hey this is a process so I need to loosen up a bit. So what if this was quite a crappy day and I only went out to buy food. So what if I was all sweaty when I got back because it rained and I had the wrong clothes. Seriously I really think the hormones has got to me…sweaty + warm + 50 yrs = ??? I refuse to even write the word. At least not yet. I mean I did receive one of the nicest compliments when the twin boys of one of our friends agreed that since I could neither be 38 nor 25 I had to be forty even if they did not quite believe that. Well, I guess it´s time for me to start taking care of myself. To nurture not only my soul but my body as well. More exercise…(shudder)…eating more veggies (that´s ok)…no sugar (too difficult).
Last weeks theme of Unravelling was actually “Nurture” and when I was journaling on what practices that nurtures and nourishes me I realized that very few of them involves either exercise or food…although eating together with friends definitely nurtures me!
I still haven´t been to the Café Carré but I will thanks to my lovely colleagues who spoiled me with wonderful birthday gifts which definitely nurture me – books and gift cards for a various selection of my favorite coffee shops! I promise to keep you posted 🙂
The pictures are from another lovely coffee shop called Tiirikkala where we gathered yesterday to celebrate the birthday of the lovely Maria.