False Expectations or?

Once is OK, twice is a habit so now I have to catch up. I´ve fallen behind with my writing due to lack of inspiration and too much going on in my head. But what is the best remedy for an occupied head? Journaling and writing of course! There are certainly a lot of other ways to clear your head but I have yet to find the motivation to put on my jogging shoes and go out for a run. And you do get some exercise slamming your fingers on the keyboard, don´t you?

As mentioned in a previous blog post I had high hopes and big expectations for my Magic Mondays until I fell flat on my feet being sick on too many Mondays for my own good. I guess my body is screaming RELAX WOMAN but as I have never been a very good listener why would I listen now? A discussion with my daughter around the concept of expectations and why they rather lead to disappointment than helping you have a good time, made me think about the difference between having expectations and visualizing a specific outcome. How come we so often have false expectations and end up wishing we had not expected anything at all in the first place. And yet we are surrounded by the advice on the importance of visualizing to succeed?

I did some digging down memory lane and suddenly remembered when I learned to swim. Which I did quite late. I was too afraid to join my school mates in the big pool and spent almost all lessons with the toddlers. When I finally couldn´t bare the humiliation anymore I had to figure out a way to conquer my fear of the indefinite depths of the grown-ups pool.

So without even knowing it had a name I did a text book example of a visualization, laying in bed at night seeing in my minds eye a huge gold medal that I gazed at while swimming fervently without looking down for a second. In the real swimming pool I did the same thing, never looking up, swimming like crazy and visualization the gold medal. And that´s how I learned to swim and dive and swim some more. But I never had any expectations and somehow I guess that was part of the trick. No expectations, only having my eyes on the prize. Never looking down, taking one small step and then another and then one more.

Where I swim May2015
The ‘pool’ I swim in nowadays and watching from a room with a view

 

In Sickness and in Health

Is what you promised your partner in front of the altar standing there feeling all excited for the new life your are creating together. But how about promising the same for yourself? I have been thinking that I might not have been that good of a spouse to myself lately. Last week I was down and under with a heavy Spring cold lying in bed feeling miserable for three days. And thus having lots of time to think uncomfortable thoughts, not only because of the fever but because there was nothing I could muster up any energy to activate myself with.

Supporting others, and supporting my husband comes naturally to me whether in sickness or in health but I am unnecessarily hard on myself when I don´t think I measure up. And I could definitely do a bit more cheering on and tapping on my shoulder when things go well too. This is not something unique for me only. I know that we are usually our own worst critics. But for some reason I thought I was better off than most in this area and it turned out I´m not. When I get compliments on something I´ve accomplished I secretly cringe a bit inwards but put on a smiley face. Doing something together with others and getting credits for it as a group is much easier. So what´s at play, false modesty maybe? Self-worth issues? Time to renew my vows to honor myself in sickness and in health?

Today after a quite creative and pleasant business meeting I couldn´t help but take a picture of this article from an old Country & Garden magazine from 2012 (!) laying around at the café where we met. Regarding the fact that the name of our business venture is called the Tea Salon the article could not have been more appropriate 🙂 Tea anyone?

TeaTime0405  Teatime0405-2