Feeling Blue

This has been an odd summer. Not necessarily because of the changing weather creating feelings of being shown a dangling candy (could be a carrot if you prefer that) only for it to be snatched away right in front of your eyes just when you try to grab it. But mostly because my Mum is ill. She is this feisty 90 year old that is in much worse shape now than one year ago. My oldest sister has been with her since the end of May and I have been visiting her every week since my holiday started. The best part of this is that Mum is slowly getting a little better and that I have had the chance to spend way more time not only with her but also with my oldest sister that I might ordinarily not see for years because she lives up in the North and I in the South. We have been eating cake in the garden all three, laughing and reminiscing about past events but there has naturally been what my sis calls “murr murr” as well. Not yelling but irritation from all parties and slightly heightened tones of voices.

But even if Mum is at least feeling and looking slightly better compared to her state a couple of weeks ago this does not hide the fact that she is very old and very fragile. With a soon to be 91 year old Mum, a sister that is retired, a husband of 61 and a nineteen year old daughter that is moving out in two weeks to start her life in a different city you invariable get into spiraling thoughts about life, death and the meaning of everything. I am grateful for the public health care that seems to function accordingly in the small town where Mum lives but I am shuddering when I think about how we would handle everything without it. I am not going into a political rant here even if it´s tempting and there would be reason for it. But I do wonder how it will be forty years from now if I am still on this earth then.

At the moment the tropical heat has arrived at least in the South of Finland and I have the privilege of still being on holiday. Which means one last day of swimming and sunbathing. The combination of which is one of the things that relaxes me in a deep way. But I´m picky as it has to take place at our summer cottage and there need to be a really warm breeze. Then it is as close to a perfect moment for me as it can get.

So the question remains, how to do the best of this magic time we have here on earth? How and with what do I want to fill this wondrous thing called life? This has been on my mind since last summer when it hit me that I will inevitably be in the situation that I am in now.

Apart from being with my Mum I have been frequenting one of my favorite summer cafés in Turku – Café Qwensel – if you are lucky you will get to drink your tea from this lovely blue tea cup. The café is part of the Apothecary Museum and is a real tranquil heaven where I go to relax and slow down in their outside yard.

When it feels like I have done nothing this summer, looking at the pictures I´ve taken tell me differently. So here is a small potpurri of what I have been up to. No pictures of Mum or Sis for the sake of privacy.

the blue tea cup at Café qwensel and some lovely cake… our balcony aka my sweet nest

Lovely lavender in my old hometown & then some new technology 🙂

A gorgeous newly renovated house where the dutch couple sell all things maritime

 

The view at our summer cottage – first swim this summer – first blueberries this summer!