… and their Not So Nice Cousin will probably haunt you in one way or another throughout your life. Some lucky bastards (sorry for the swearing) will be able to sail through life without these three pestering their journey. But for the rest of us mere mortals it will be a life long struggle. I thought I had cured myself from them but last year made me realize how wrong I was. Curious about who these pesky little creatures are? I know I would be. OK let’s open up the veil and withdraw the curtains. May I get some drum rolls please?
Enough with the joking, The Evil Twins are of course perfectionism and procrastination. Dunno know exactly where I read about how they go hand in hand but it made all the pieces fall into place for me. They are intertwined and almost inseparable from each other. When you procrastinate and blame yourself for lack of discipline and being just plain lazy, who you should blame is in fact the other Evil Twin, perfectionism. And when I got that, I had to admit that perfectionism, even if I thought I had got rid of it, was the underlying reason why I stopped blogging last Spring. And the more I procrastinated the worse I felt and the harder it was to get back up into the saddle a.k.a. start writing again.
I fooled myself completely, and as a former perfectionist at my work place I might have know better. For years I had an urge to outperform myself, straightening up every crooked line, filling in every spread sheet to be in immaculate shape and order. Until I loosened my grip the more professional I got and also the more at ease I felt with my work. All this made me believe that I was cured. How wrong I was. Yes, cured when it came to being a pro at my work place, but instead tending hours and hours on fine tuning my blog posts until I was almost unable to write anything. So I stopped. Writing all together. I did not sign up for the creative writing class because I told myself I wanted to have more time for writing my blog… and the procrastination dug it’s heels even deeper into me.
And that is where the Not So Nice Cousin comparison enters . Why on earth should I blog when there are so many out there who are writing better than me and are having more beautiful designs on their blogs than I could ever dream of coming up with. The last straw was when I was introduced to Minutes. An exquisite, elegant blog by a Finnish stylist and designer who blogs in an immaculate English with gorgeous pictures and that transfers you to a whole new world (sigh). I love and envy the blog both at the same time.
Funny thing, I devoured one blog post after another yesterday, feeling at the same time a mix of jealousy, inferiority in all possible ways and yet with a fighting spirit rising in me. And that is why I am sitting here at one of my favourite cafés Gaggui Kaffela which I have a habit of visiting every Sunday. This Sunday however is different, because instead of reading emails or filling in fancy journals I Am Writing!! And guess what? It feels great 😀. Yes, the journal is merely there for show off…
I will not end this blog post by giving you a three step plan or any fancy advice. Just read if your interested and dig a little deeper if you feel that the Evil Twins and their Not So Nice Cousin might have you in their grip. Good luck dear friend.
p.s. I am cheating a bit because I wrote this on a Sunday despite the title…