Everybody loves lists, so here comes a listful. Yeah yeah, I know I tried to be funny with words and did not succeed that great. But a girls gotta try her best.
If you are an ardent Spring Lover do not read further. I repeat, do not read further. You will only get angry and defensive and that is not good for either your or my health and well-being.
Why is Spring overrated? I’ll tell you why:
- You make the mistake of looking into a mirror and wonder who the heck that person is wearing your clothes and evidently living in your home. Who let her in?
- You make the mistake of looking around at your home and realize there must have been some kind of switch between apartments while you were sleeping. Your home is cosy, this home is just plain dirty and full of dust.
- The sun is shining and suddenly everybody goes crazy and insists on going out for walks. Really? What is wrong with sitting at home watching TV?
- The minute the temperature shows slightly above zero everybody including you thinks it is Spring and you change into a less warm jacket. And end up freezing your bum out, because no one told you the wind that is blowing hard outside makes it feel even colder than on a regular winter day.
- You get constantly disappointed just because you see a sliver of blue sky. No, it is not Spring yet. Which you actually could not care less about. It is just that Spring means it will be Summer, which then will change into your favorite time of the year – Autumn. Ahhh lovely beautiful Autumn. Insert big sigh here…
- Even if you are married since years and years back, Spring still has a way of making you remember all those boyfriendless years (a.k.a. Springs) when everyone else seemed to walk hand in hand along the river, while you just felt plain lonely. And when complaining about this to a guy friend, you were still not convinced even if he gently pointed out that just because those couples walked hand in hand, did not mean they were happy.
- At this point if you haven´t already given up reading my ramblings, you will probably protest wildly and pointing out to me that the Spring I am referring to is not real Spring, and no wonder you don´t like it. Real Spring, that is when the trees are getting green, and the birds are chirping happily, and the sun is so warm that it is not possible to sit outside for long or you will get sunburnt. Sounds awfully much like summer to me…
- Frankly my dear, I do not give a damn. I still prefer cloudy over sunshine.
- And to make matters worse, I do like when the wind is warm and I don´t have to wear anything else but a t-shirt, a skirt and flip flops. But I still prefer Autumn over Spring any time.
- And to make it even worse, if possible, I actually like it when it is dark. November has a far too bad a reputation than it deserves.
- Spring, and even more so Summer are too pretentious. You get showered with a million should´s only because a change of season, it is ridiculous! You should be outdoors, you should not talk ill of the sun, you should throw epic parties during First of May and then more epic parties at Midsummer. You should go to your summer cottage since you have one. And shame on you for not taking care of it better. And so on and so on.
- Since I am a positive and nice person by nature, I have to end with something uplifting or else risk getting hate mails. Here comes my confession. I do like the color green. And yes, I do like birds as well, as long as they are not shitting on my car.
But no, you will not win me over, no matter how much confetti you are throwing on me. Spring sucks. Winter is OK. Summer is fine. And Autumn is awesome!